Getting someone to open up is hard, people have learned not to trust other people.
Weather you are looking to uncover a truth, discover a lie, we all want the real deal, nobody wants to be lied to.
I am not offering this information for you to question your spouse to death, but to help you get to those inside parts you always wonder about.
I have found that the more open and non judgemental you are, the more people will be open and express themselves to you.
6 ways to get people to open up to you.
If the person feels any tension from you, they won't open up.
The mood you're in will set the tone for the conversation, even if the other person is stressed, your demeanor will help calm them also.
Listen without interrupting.
Interrupting some while they are speaking is not only rude, but it makes the other person feel you are devaluing them and only raises tensions. Allow them to speak until they either ask a question or seem to be looking for feedback.
Keep your tone even.
When it is your turn to respond or reply, go over in your head quickly what was said. respond in a calm even tone, even though there may be emotions or tension involved, understand that an all out argument will cause the person to close up and you may lose your chance.
Keep facial expressions to yourself.
Your body can say 1000 things your mouth never intended to say. Keep your facial and body language and plain as possible.
Mental notes, Key points, people, places, things. This will come in handy when you reply and repeat them back to them, this lets them know you are listening and paying attention.
Be non threatening.Nobody wants to open up to someone they feel threatened by or afraid of. If they feel comfortable that no harm will come to them, emotionally, physically, mentally, you have a greater chance of people opening up to you.
It just makes sense.